Merry… Christmas?
I finally got back to Chicago today and collected two weeks’ worth of mail. Among the Christmas cards was a plain white #10 envelope addressed to me in a neat, all-caps hand. The return address is from “Halpert” on Ellsworth St. in Naperville. Odd, since I don’t think I know anybody in Naperville. Nor anybody named Halpert.
I opened the letter and found a two-page faux-typed “Christmas” letter (including a faux water ring on the back). I scanned both pages, which are below—you’ll have to click on them to enlarge, but I beg you to do so. The letter itself is pretty funny, but I have NO IDEA who sent it to me. (I don’t have a home phone, so my address isn’t listed). The return address on the actual letter is my work address (sans suite number), which is… coincidental? creepy? weird? Please, for the love of all things holy, if you sent this to me, let me know. It’s driving me crazy.
If you need further persuasion to enlarge and read, here’s the second paragraph for you:
To begin at the beginning. Many of you will have heard that, while walking home from mailing our holiday missive in early December 2006, I was struck in the temple by an Audi. Servilia and the kids feared the worst, and their fears were confirmed when I survived. I’ve long believed that there is something positive to learn from even the darkest event. However, I have been very, very wrong. Getting hit by an Audi is an uniformly bad thing.
