Not too long ago, I read Joshua Allen’s determination that 2:42 is the perfect song length. Not a bad argument: he points out that the Mamas and Papas’ “California Dreamin’” and The Smiths’ “This Charming Man” both clock in at 2:42 (although in my iTunes, “This Charming Man” is 2:46. But he makes his point.).

So instead of a blog post, I give you a list of my music that is precisely 2:42. I don’t have all my CDs loaded into iTunes, but here’s what I’ve got, even the embarrassing stuff:

• “Will Tomorrow Ever Come,” Dance Hall Crashers
• “The Whiskey Ain’t Workin’ Anymore,” Travis Tritt
• “American Made,” Oak Ridge Boys
• “Felicia,” Quartet San Francisco
• “Emily Kane,” Art Brut
• “The Nights Are Made for Us,” Richard Hawley
• “The Real You,” Dance Hall Crashers
• “A Chicken With Its Head Cut Off,” The Magnetic Fields
• “Like a Rose,” Lucinda Williams
• “The Tigers Have Spoken,” Neko Case
• “You’re No Rock n’ Roll Fun,” Sleater-Kinney
• “Dreary, Dreary,” The Gothic Archies
• “Ojitos Traidores,” Los Super Seven
• “Tonight We’re Gonna Tear Down the Walls,” Randy Travis
• “Crows,” The Gothic Archies
• “Better Class of Losers,” Randy Travis
• “Leave the Biker,” Fountains of Wayne
• “Juanita,” Sheryl Crow and Emmylou Harris
• “Legal Man,” Belle & Sebastian
• “Lovely Rita,” The Beatles
• “How Blue,” Reba McEntire
• “Center of Gravity,” Yo La Tengo
• “Child of the Fifties,” Statler Brothers
• “Anymore,” that dog.
• “Pink Padded Slippers,” Blitzen Trapper
• “Counteraction,” Cornershop
• “Michelle,” The Beatles
• “Always Will,” Nanci Griffith
• “The Book of Love,” The Magnetic Fields
• “Murder Ballad,” Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci
• “Sol y Sombra,” Fugu
• “Sister in Love,” Envelopes

What do you have that’s 2:42?

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current book: Oh God. I’m pages away from finishing Julia Alvarez’s How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents and Kavalier & Clay, which I really really really will read.

current music: The spectacular Jasper Rose Silbert Mix. Oh. I should maybe write something about that… stay tuned… I’m so tired right now it’s hard to type, but maybe tomorrow.

current socks: Today’s are white with red toes, heels, and polka dots, but yesterday’s are worth mentioning. They are my absolute favorites from The Sock Shop in London: stormy clouds, weather pattern arrows, and the words “wet & windy.” It was in fact quite wet and windy yesterday.

So now, in the midst of a snowstorm as I procrastinate the work I have to do, I decided I’d throw something together. The 300+ country songs my dad burned for me ages ago are haphazardly filed in iTunes—not all of them are labeled, so I had a hard time finding some of the songs I wanted to include. So before you leave a comment saying, “I can’t believe you didn’t include ___,” I know. I decided on a broad range of songs mostly between the mid-80s and mid-90s, which automatically excludes Willie Nelson and Loretta Lynn, because I wanted John to hear the stuff I was listening to when much cooler people were learning the Thriller dance. There are a hundred other songs I wanted to include, and just had to make some hasty decisions (I couldn’t find Kathy Mattea’s “Eighteen Wheels and a Dozen Roses,” even though I know it’s probably in iTunes under “Track 17″ or something, so look for that on Vol. 2). I chose most of these songs because they evoked a specific memory, and I broke my mix rule of not putting two songs on by the same artist. No way could I choose just one Reba McEntire song.

Comments welcome, and copies available upon request. Sloppy liner notes below, since I refuse to use the phrase “pop sensibilities” or do any research on how old LeAnn Rimes was when she started performing. And really, you should just listen to the mix, anyways. Country music is all about the stories, and you’ll find a lot of love found, stolen, and lost in these songs. And a whole lotta Texas.

Track List and Liner Notes for Country Gold, Vol. 1

1. Blue :: LeAnn Rimes (Blue, 1996)

I think most people who know LeAnn Rimes know this song. If I remember correctly, it was originally written for Patsy Cline, and LeAnn Rimes is probably one of the few people who could have pulled this off. She was 13 when the single was released and was well-known in some musical circles in the Dallas-Fort Worth area—she’d sung the national anthem at rodeos and other events, and the papers had done stories on the little kid with the big voice. I saw LeAnn Rimes twice at Billy Bob’s Texas when I was in college—it was after “Blue” was released, but before she became a national star. The first time I saw her she seemed so sweet on stage, saying “thank yew” after every song. The second time, she had a much more commanding on-stage presence.

2. Mama He’s Crazy :: The Judds (Wynonna & Naomi, 1983)

I had a really hard time choosing a Judds song, but this one is a classic. They were all over country radio in the early and mid-80s. Naomi’s the mom; Wynonna’s her daughter. Wynonna had a solo career in the early 90s, but I think she was always bigger and better with her mom.

3. A Better Man :: Clint Black (Killin’ Time, 1989)

I love Clint Black. He has the perfect twangy country voice. This was always my favorite album of his. Kind of in the vein of George Strait.

4. How Blue :: Reba McEntire (My Kind of Country, 1984)

I probably could have put any Reba song on here, so I just had to make a decision. This one has some more traditionalist country elements; much of her work is poppier, with a lot of power ballads and bluesy influences. If you haven’t seen Reba McEntire live, you really should. She goes through half a dozen sequined Bob Mackie dresses. It’s awesome.

5. All My Exes Live in Texas :: George Strait (Ocean Front Property, 1987)

George Strait really is the King of Country. I think most people know this song and I would have actually preferred “Ocean Front Property,” but it seems to be lost somewhere in the iTunes abyss. And you really can’t go wrong with George Strait. He continued to wear cowboy hats and boots when all the young country singers were starting to try to appeal to a broader audience.

6. If You’re Gonna Play in Texas (You Gotta Have a Fiddle in the Band) :: Alabama (Roll On, 1984)

Alabama is the quintessential country group. They’ve been around forever and produced God knows how many albums. They were all over country radio in the 80s and 90s. Also, I went to high school with the niece of one of the singers.

7. Texas (When I Die) :: Tanya Tucker (Delta Dawn, 1972)

Technically a decade too old for this mix, I had to choose it because I loved Tanya Tucker when I was a kid (that’s Taanya, not Tahnya). She was another child phenom like LeAnn Rimes, and I believe she was also about 13 when she first recorded this.

8. She’s in Love with the Boy :: Trisha Yearwood (Trisha Yearwood, 1991)

The early 90s had, for the most part, a less traditionalist country sound. There was even a new country station in Dallas that advertised itself as “new” country, leaving all the Randy Travis and The Judds off the playlists.

9. Blame It On Your Heart :: Patty Loveless (Only What I Feel, 1993)

I was actually never a huge Patty Loveless fan, but this song is incredible. And a ton of fun to sing along to: blame it on your lyin’, cheatin’, cold, dead beatin’, two-timin’, double dealin’, mean, mistreatin’, lovin’ heart.

10. Tennessee Flat Top Box :: Roseanne Cash (King’s Record Shop, 1987)

When I was around 9 or so, I used to spend hours in the laundry room with the country station cranked up while I ironed everybody’s clothes. I loved it. Every time “Tennessee Flat Top Box” came on, I’d have to stop ironing so I could dance and sing along. I liked the Johnny Cash version too, but it was Roseanne’s version that really got through to me. Although I thought for years that the line, “and then one day / on the Hit Parade,” was actually, “and then one day / on the hidden ray.” You know, like he’d died and appeared on the horizon or something.

11. The Dance :: Garth Brooks (Garth Brooks, 1989)

I think I’ve seen Garth Brooks in concert 5 or 6 times. This is the song where everybody pulls out their lighters. It was so huge when it came out—there were quite a few singles on his debut album, I think—and it helped launch Garth Brooks into one of the biggest entertainers of the 90s. For my part, I bought the piano music for it and played it constantly.

12. Cattle Call :: LeAnn Rimes with Eddy Arnold (Blue, 1996)

This is where I had to break my rule of no artist appearing twice on the same mix. Because although most people know the song “Blue,” you probably haven’t heard this, and it’s just as good, with lots of twangy old-fashioned country sounds. And yodeling. She yodels!

13. Forever and Ever, Amen :: Randy Travis (Always & Forever, 1987)

I actually think I may have had this single on a 45. Randy Travis was big in the 80s but lost popularity during the new country movement a few years later. This was one of his biggest hits.

14. Guitars, Cadillacs :: Dwight Yoakum (Guitars, Cadillacs, Etc., Etc, 1986)

I had a love-hate relationship with this song for awhile. Since I listened to so much country-pop, this initially sounded really twangy. But I came around.

15. Except for Monday :: Lorrie Morgan (Something in Red, 1991)

I think this was really Lorrie Morgan’s version of “Blame It On Your Heart.” Lorrie Morgan was another artist who was big for a few years but then died away.

16. Midnight Girl Sunset Town :: Sweethearts of the Rodeo (Sweethearts of the Rodeo, 1986)

When I looked up the date of this album, I was surprised that it came out in 1986—I remember it being several years older than that. This was a family favorite, and notable because it was one of the few albums that my mom actually liked. Gossip: one of the Sweethearts was married to Vince Gill before Amy Grant snatched him away.

17. I’m Alright :: Jo Dee Messina (I’m Alright, 1998)

Jo Dee Messina is from Framingham, Massachusetts, and probably had to work real hard on that twang! She’s very typical of the country pop artists. This song came out the summer before I moved to England and got a ton of airplay. It reminds me of driving to north Dallas to get sno-cones with Laura after a hard day of waiting tables. I listened to it a couple months ago for the first time in years, and it made me weep a little bit.

18. Here’s a Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares) :: Travis Tritt (It’s All About to Change, 1991)

Country music has a particular way of telling somebody to shove it. Travis Tritt and his mullet do an outstanding job here.

19. Fancy :: Reba McEntire (Rumor Has It, 1990)

Best Reba song of all time? Quite possibly. I love the bluesy influence, I love her voice, I love the story arc, I freak out if I ever hear it on the radio. This is the song you stay in the car for, even if it means sitting alone in your parking place with the speakers blaring and everybody staring at you.

* * *

current book: Nearly halfway through with The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay. The book itself might be nearly perfect. My problem is that I don’t have a deep or inherent connection to comic books, and I really really really want that to better appreciate this book. I’ve long been fascinated with the American idea of the superhero, especially Superman, but I’ve never really taken that fascination into any serious study of comic books. Kavalier & Clay is, so far, a rich and expansive fictional exploration of the beginnings of the the comic superhero in the 1930s. I just want to love it more, if that makes sense.

current music: Neko Case, Live from Austin TX. LOVE IT. She does a bunch of songs from her first album, Canadian Amp, which was the only album to her name when I saw her on my birthday years ago at the now-defunct Volcano Room in Indianapolis. My girl-crush on her grows and grows. Up next, a few CDs I bought at Waterloo Records yesterday: Spoon’s Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga, The Spinto Band’s nice and nicely done, and Jamie Lidell’s Multiply.

current socks: Yesterday I wore my new fair isle SmartWools in a lovely brown and green design. Today, relatively boring red SmartWools with an abstract snowflake design. But boring won’t matter in a few hours when the temperatures drop from 45F to 5F. Can’t wait for that.

I got to the Metro about 6:30, half an hour or so before the first of two opening bands went on. I had my purse checked by a man with a flashlight, and then went up to the box office. First problem: a handwritten sign that says, “cash only.” Bastards! I ask the woman at the ticket window where the nearest ATM is. She says there’s one right outside the door.

It really was right outside the door, so I grabbed some cash and headed back in. A couple ahead of me finished their ticket purchase, and I walked up and asked for two tickets, a crisp $40 in my hands. “We just sold out!” the girl says. Excuse me? “They just bought the last two tickets.” AARRRRRgggggghhhhhh. Seriously? If she’d been really awesome, she would have offered to hold the tickets while I got my cash, perhaps in exchange for my driver’s license. At the very least, she should have warned me that they were down to their last two freakin’ tickets.

As I turned away, a guy (security? bouncer? I have no idea) said, “Hey, is it just you?” I said that I had a friend coming, but he told me he could get me one free ticket. He said that somebody had bought an extra and left it there (I’m a little unclear on how that would have happened, but whatever), but he was happy to give me a free BoH ticket. One down, one to go.

I called my friend to update her on the bad news, and we agreed to meet for dinner and figure out what to do. I went to the appointed meeting place, a little joint called Penny’s Noodle Shop, which I had SPECIFICALLY LOOKED UP ONLINE to make sure it was open on Mondays. According to the internets, it wasn’t just open on Monday, but it was open everyday. Except that… it wasn’t open today. Strike two.

So my friend and I had dinner at a cheesy Caribbean-themed place called Trader Todd’s, which features a half-priced menu on Mondays, including about a dozen girly drinks. Of course I got the girliest one on the menu. I’m too embarrassed to tell you what was in it.

We headed back toward the Metro. I tried to convince my friend that if we couldn’t find a second ticket, she should take the free one and go enjoy BoH, since she is by far the bigger fan. We agreed to wait outside awhile and see if anything showed up.

So we waited. And waited. And asked people if they had extras. And asked more people if they had extras.

And… somebody did! He only charged us the actual price of the ticket, so my friend and I split it and got in for half-price each. Not a bad ending to what could have been a shitty night. BoH were very good—a little guitar-heavy for my tastes, but I definitely really enjoyed the middle three-quarters or so of their set. I will leave you with their words as they started off the concert.

BoH: How’s everybody doin’ tonight, Chicago?

Chicago: WOOOOO!!! Yeah! WOOOOO!

BoH: We are also “woo.”

• Voxtrot
• Grizzly Bear
• Iron & Wine
• Clipse
• Beach House
• Fujiya & Miyaga
• Oxford Collapse
• Dan Deacon
• Girl Talk
• The Sea and Cake
• Stephen Malkmus
• The New Pornographers
• Jamie Lidell
• Of Montreal
• De La Soul

Not bad for $35, although I missed a few bands on Sunday due largely to a CTA clusterfuck (and due partly to being a slowpoke and not getting going as early as I’d planned). In addition to the music and the hipster-wares being sold on festival grounds, Pitchfork also featured a poster convention, which boasted a surprisingly impressive collection of designers and artists (and all your favorite bands).

Biggest surprise for me was actually The New Pornographers—I’ve seen them half a dozen times, and their sound hasn’t changed all that much since the release of Mass Romantic, so I wasn’t expecting anything new (especially since Neko wasn’t with them), but they were probably my favorite act of the weekend. Solid performance, infectious energy, and even their pixieish faux-Neko (whom I’ve seen with them before and like just fine) was fantastic. It was also nice to hear Stephen Malkmus play Pavement, notably (for me, anyways) “Spit on a Stranger,” although most of the reviews concur that he is better when backed by a full band.

My favorite new band from the weekend is Fujiya & Miyaga, a British trio (I know!) whose tight, breathy, pop electronica was just as infectious as the big power-pop acts on the main stage. Jamie Lidell was another surprise, a one-man soul act who wore some sort of sparkly streamers around his head and played seemingly a dozen instruments at once. Biggest disappointment was Girl Talk, although it was hardly his fault—he was on the smallest stage, which lacked last year’s tent, and the crowd swelled to fill even the nearby trees. From where I stood, the sound was mediocre at best, and what I could hear was ruined by everybody around me yelling “Turn it up! Turn it up!” I ran into my friend John and his girlfriend, and the three of us tried moving to a better vantage point, but John was right—there was too much distance between Girl Talk and us to get really excited about it. So I guess I have to hit the next club he plays in Chicago.

* * *

current book: Nature’s Keepers: The Remarkable Story of How the Nature Conservancy Became the Largest Environmental Group in the World by Bill Birchard.

current music: I just saw that the Old 97’s are playing Italian Fest here in a few weeks. Wahooo! It’s been awhile since I’ve seen them. I definitely need me a Rhett Miller & Murray Hammond fix.

current socks: Purple with frogs.

Taken with my camera phone last night around 8:30pm, shortly before catching part of Magic Slim and the Teardrops at the Chicago Blues Fest. I had planned on going to the Printers Row Book Fair this afternoon, but unfortunately, I didn’t make it. There’s almost too much going on in this city during the summer.

While my friends were in line for the Port-o-Potties at Blues Fest, I made friends with a horse named Night. Night’s police officer told me that all the CPD horses are male because they are “more trainable and docile. Just like us!” Har har, officer.

My knees, I’m very happy to report, are doing pretty well. After several knee voodoo treatments and two weeks of physical therapy (with at least two more weeks to go), I’m as ready as I’m gonna be to run this half-marathon. My right knee still aches, especially after yesterday’s easy six-mile run, but nothing that should keep me from the Mini. They will also provide an excellent excuse for what will undoubtedly be a penguin-like speed. (Don’t worry, Jen, I’ll still be at your wedding at 2pm. I’m not that slow.)

Indianapolis, here I come…

* * *

current book: Nearly done with Slouching Towards Bethlehem.

current music: Inspired by N’s recent California-themed mix, I’m thinking I should make a mix for the three-hour road trip to Indy next week. Although I don’t think that indie rockers or country singers of yore have a lot of songs about running, I’m going to go through my iTunes and see what kind of upbeat, victorious, pump-you-up songs I can find. Leave your suggestions in comments. And assume that I will already be including Prince and Madonna as well as The Bottle Rockets’ “Indianapolis.”

current socks: Easter socks that I never got around to wearing during Easter season.

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current book: I’ve been reading the lastest issue of The Atlantic Monthly, which claims to have named the 100 Most Influential Americans. A very quick skim shows that all the women seem to have made the list for advancing feminism. No female brain surgeons or explorers. Yet.

current music: Went to see Canasta and The Dears at the Metro last night. Canasta was fantastic–the Metro really suits them well. I’m still waiting(ahem!) to see them cover Kraftwerk’s “The Model” live. Hopefully all y’all Indianapolisians are heading down to Radio Radio tonight.

The Dears have been oft-compared to The Smiths, but I didn’t see it. The Dears are also oft-described as crafting “moody pop.” If The Smiths crafted moody pop, it’s more in the lyrics than the music. There’s a few Dears clips available on 3hive, so feel free to weigh in on this. I started off disliking them, but then they played some songs I liked, and then I just couldn’t decide what I thought of them. But they had a sense of humor: in response to the audience clamoring for a specific song, the lead singer asked, “Do you even know that song?” “Nooooo!” came the drunken response. The lead singer sighed. “Fuckin’ Americans.”

The Dears had two female keyboardists framing the front of the stage; both women were very thin, wearing black, and looked detached from the rest of the action. Very sexy. Very eerie.

current socks: Gray with bright tattoo-style butterflies. Thanks, Kristen! Yesterday I wore polypropylene liners underneath thigh-high navy and green striped wool socks. I was still cold at my desk. Would it be too passive-aggressive to bring a blanket to work?

Those of you who live in Indianapolis:

Go see Canasta at Radio Radio on Saturday, December 9! They go on at 9:30pm and will only make your wallet $6 lighter. Where else you gonna hear great pop music for the price of a triple venti no-whip no-fat low-foam latte, hmm?

Chicagoans (right?):

Go see ESW at Silvie’s on Thursday, December 21! I will be there with bells on, and you should be, too. (I keep threatening this, and I may actually tie jingle bells to my shoes).

*    *    *

current book: Technically still Moby-Dick, even though I’ve hardly picked it up in a week. It’s kind of just too much after a 12-hour work day, you know? But I stumbled across this website the other day and I think it’s frankly genius. I am now on page 174 out of 625 (which doesn’t include the diagrams at the end of the book), which makes me…only 28% complete? God, that’s depressing.  Maybe not so genius after all. And how is his book 100 pages shorter?

current music: I don’t even remember what I listened to today. That’s the kind of brain fog I’m in.

current socks: black with brown-and-red cowboy boots all over them.

additional service fees: $8

tolls between Chicago and Milwaukee: $5

gas: $22

getting home at 1:45am on a weekday: utter exhaustion

having Joey Burns end a conversation with me by saying, “Hey, maybe I’ll see your writing someday!”: priceless

No photos from this show, but I did get the guys to sign some liner notes for me, and I walked off with a copy of the setlist. I have now been up for nearly the last 24 hours, though, and I have a 9am doctor’s appointment. Paying the price of getting home at 1:45am…