It helps if your pronoun has something to refer back to. From this morning’s Redeye, the Tribune’s free daily crap newspaper:

So, David—about those Armani underwear ads.

Soccer superstar David Beckham said he had some explaining to do after agreeing to be photographed in his skivvies for a new, sex-drenched ad campaign for Emporio Armani. The black and white ads show Beckham reclining shirtless.

“When the photos came out out, she was the first one to call me and say, ‘What are you doing?’” he told Jay Leno this week on the “Tonight” show, according to The Associated Press. “I had to try and explain it to her and it didn’t go down that well.”

That was the whole article. All of it. And who do you suppose she is? The headline says, “Ssh! Don’t tell mom and dad! Even superstars have to consider their parents’ wrath.”

Still, if you glance down at the article, like I did this morning while waiting for the bus, “she” doesn’t refer to anything within the text. And I don’t know about Beckham’s mom, but my mom gets pretty pissed off if she’s referred to as simply “she” or “her.”

]]> http://www.southoftheloop.com/2008/04/04/basic-grammar-lesson/feed/ 2 http://www.southoftheloop.com/2007/12/19/get-your-mris-elsewhere/ http://www.southoftheloop.com/2007/12/19/get-your-mris-elsewhere/#comments Wed, 19 Dec 2007 16:05:51 +0000 admin2 http://southoftheloop.wordpress.com/2007/12/19/get-your-mris-elsewhere/ On the Blue Line last night, I had a seat facing out. The ad above the seat in front of me introduced the new “wide-open” MRI at Saint Anthony’s Hospital—perfect, the ad told me, for those who might not be able to handle a conventional MRI. The ad ended with a bold-font command to “tell your doctor you want your MRI at Saint Anthony’s Hospital.” Um, no thank you:

With this new technology, Saint Anthony Hospital can now better serve all patients, including the very young who’s MRI experience can be a scary one, those with claustrophobia and people weighing up to 550 pounds.

* * *

current book: About 80 pages into The Time-Traveler’s Wife.

current music: A handful of CDs my friend Ryan gave me last night. Thanks, Ryan!

current socks: Knee-high black SmartWools with gray and white polka dots. Mmmm.

I told her that although the sign was considered acceptable—”because it conveys the meaning?” she asked—if you were, say, writing a letter, then yes, you would write, “please wait for the next available person.” She thanked me and said that even after 40 years Stateside, she still gets things messed up. I think she’s doing pretty damn well, frankly.

Did I answer her correctly? Is the article required, and we’ve just gotten accustomed to grammatically sloppy signs? Or would it be grammatically correct even without the article?

* * *

current book: Still plugging away on all the same things. In other media, I actually watched a movie last night! My roommate and some friends and I watched The Devil Wears Prada, which I’ve been looking forward to for ages. I have to say, I was a little disappointed. It felt very montage-y. But Anne Hathaway didn’t annoy me nearly as much as I’d anticipated, and I enjoyed many of Meryl Streep’s lines, especially her monologue on cerulean blue.

current music: Just getting ready to pop in John’s Best of 2006 mix…

current socks: Very fun turquoise socks with lime green, light turquoise, and white 50s-style abstract shapes on them.

- Worked.

- Worked overtime.

- Spent far too many hours cross-eyed over football (soccer) stats. Latin American football leagues have jumped the shark.

- Learned what a crazy bumblefuck used to rule Turkmenistan (he banned lip-syncing and recorded music at weddings, and he used the country’s gas moolah to commission a monumental golden statue of himself that revolves so that it always faces the sun).

- Watched Legally Blonde. Twice.

- Had a small plastic container thrown at me by a homeless person.

- Made and ate buttermilk pancakes for dinner (which I think are not part of my new year’s resolutions, but were delicious anyways).

- Have gotten no mail thus far. I think sometimes we might actually live in Italy. We get our mail when our carrier feels like delivering it.

- Procrastinated anything which requires effort or thought (such as real blog posts, several which are already half-written; at least one essay, which I started several months ago; a handful of phone calls I need to make; and two items of clothing I need to return).

* * *

current book: The Crystal Frontier by Carlos Fuentes. Honestly? I have no idea yet what I think of it. It’s a series of nine unrelated stories, and I go from love to hate within a single story. I’m trying to stay open-minded, as I’m only three or four stories in. The most interesting one so far involved a man who is served a multi-course dinner by a genie, each course being accompanied by a different woman.

current music: I’m going to try to catch Margot and the Nuclear So-and-So’s tomorrow night at Schuba’s. And I’m dying to listen to John’s Best of 2006 Mix, which looks amazing. (It will have to wait until my eyes uncross from soccer stats). I did listen to the Carrie Underwood song last night, though, just out of curiosity. It sounds like an old Reba McEntire song.

current socks: Light turquoise with 50s-style pinup girls.

* * *

Other tidbits:

- to Dan, whose comment I only just saw thanks to an overzealous spam filter: do not be filled with jealousy over my 334 page style manual, as it includes many corollaries such as “generally follow the Chicago Manual of Style in these circumstances, except when you don’t think you should,” and “Webster’s spelling preferences should be followed in these circumstances, except when they shouldn’t be.”

- MY NEPHEW IS CRAWLING! He’s apparently been crawling, somewhat unenthusiastically, since Monday, but this was not immediately brought to Aunt Laura’s attention. Ahem. Video footage forthcoming.

- Cancer Man (not the X-Files character) has disappeared from his little spot of concrete on Randolph Street between Intelligentsia Coffee and Ann Taylor Loft. I saw him there every morning with a dirty bit of cardboard that said, “Cancer Starved Please Help.” He just sat there, slouching, knees up, head hanging down. He never said anything. I feel like a terrible human being for daring to worry about him, since all I’ve ever done is walk by him. Levinas says this is an ethical conflict I’m not dealing with, but I blame it on the combination of my protective parents (“NEVER talk to strangers and ESPECIALLY never get your wallet out in public”) and my Catholic upbringing (GUILT).

- phone conversation with Nephew’s mamma this afternoon:

me, somewhat surprised and proudly: I have more pictures in my office of Emmit than I do of my cats!

her: Well I should hope so. BECAUSE HE’S A PERSON. [lowering voice to refer to the cat pictures] People will think you’re crazy. Has the guy from Canasta been by your office yet?

* * *

current book: finished The Logic of a Rose on the bus this morning and started Sweet Thursday on the way home tonight. It was recommended by Advisor after I told him I hated Steinbeck, but 22 pages into and I’m not convinced this will change my mind. Except for this lovely (and possibly redemptive) passage, in which a two men tell stories of their old grocer:

They volleyed Lee Chong back and forth, and their memories built virtues that would have surprised him, and cleverness and beauty too. While one told a fine tale of that mercantile Chinaman the other waited impatiently to top the story. Out of their memories there emerged a being scarcely human, a dragon of goodness and an angel of guile. In such a way are gods created.

current music: I haven’t been listening to a very wide variety of tunes lately. Feel free to send me mix CDs.

current socks: gray with blue and white polka dots. With my Keens, of course, so the polka dots peek through.

- “was famous under Queen Elizabeth” instead of “won favour under Queen Elizabeth,”

- “mosque” instead of “masque,”

and, the best ever:

- “satanic” instead of “satiric.”

* * *

current book: I’m nearly a third done with Stewart’s The Places in Between, which I read for twenty minutes each morning and evening on the Metra. I can’t help but compare it to Tony Horwitz’s Baghdad Without a Map, which details another journalist’s adventures through the Middle East. The jury is still out on The Places in Between; there are things I love and things I don’t love, all of which I’ll reserve for another post. But what I find lacking so far is a sense of humor, which Horwitz has in abundance. Pity: Stewart walks through Afghanistan some two months after the fall of the Taliban. His cultural sensitivity is admirable, but just a little humor could have really made an impact, if only on my current perception of Stewart as a fuddy-duddy.
current music: “Can’t Stand Me Now” by The Libertines. On repeat.
current socks: I tested out my new Keens today without socks, of all the crazy things to do! (I wore them for the first day yesterday, my multi-colored stripey socks peeking through.) I seem to be blister-free so far, which is nothing short of miraculous. But I can’t help but gaze jealously at women who click-clack around the Loop in cute little heels without so much as a slight limp. How do they do it?

- took a cab to work. spency, but it was just a first-day thing, not the beginning of a habit. made it to work just in time for …

- three hours of HR-babble. but found out about the awesome benefit of buying CTA/Metra passes through Company. the discount is minimal, but the money comes directly out of my paycheck–PRE-TAX. and then …

- began reading a 334 page style manual on which all my copy editing will rely;

- learned abbreviations for everything under the sun, including a number of periodic elements I’ve never heard of as well as every former and current country associated with the USSR/Russia;

- learned that any person born before 1922 in what is now Northern Ireland must be called “Irish,” not “Northern Irish.”

- ran an errand after work and didn’t get home till nearly 8pm. am too exhausted to even think about laying out clothes for tomorrow and packing a lunch, much less actually doing it.

- so much walking. three new blisters.

- kitties very happy to see me. and I them.