south of the loop

Sixth Run: Shamrock Shuffle

I ran the Shamrock Shuffle on Sunday—8K in 53:08. It was a beautiful day—so beautiful that I had to wear a hat, sunglasses, and SPF 45—but it felt great to be outside. Of course, when I tried to run today, I felt as though I had bricks taped to my shoes. I guess that’s why you’re supposed to have resting days.

There’s even proof of my survival: go to www.marathonfoto.com, select Shamrock Shuffle 2007, and then enter my last name and bib number 25384. Yes, my legs really are that white.

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current book: The New Yorker from two weeks ago. I swear the post office is passing our weekly magazines around before they deliver them. No mail three days last week. No mail today. Probably no mail tomorrow…

current music: Am test-running a mix right now. In the coffee shop this morning, however, they were playing “Paradise City,” which reminded me of when the song came out. All the boys in my class sang it, “take me down to the paradise city / where the girls are green / and the grass is pretty…”

current socks: Time for Easter socks! Light blue with multi-colored bunnies.

For Your Amusement

The spammers have been getting more creative lately. Below, a list of “people” I’ve received spam from:

  • Kinswoman P. Workdays
  • Detective M. Nightgowns
  • Hoot P. Mischancing
  • Really Brits
  • Marvell A. Headband
  • Hecate A. Domicile
  • TimesOwls Lovers
  • Mansion H. Flatbed
  • Redding Optimist

Anybody out there writing a kids book? Because these are the perfect characters. Especially Detective M. Nightgowns.

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current book: I finally got last week’s New Yorker in the mail yesterday, and forgot to throw it in my work bag. And since I quoted from Elizabeth Costello last night, that’s still by the computer. So I spent my Metra ride staring out the window at the very gray day.

current music: …dance to electro-pop like a robot from 1984…

current socks: Gray with happy little dalmation puppies. My mom gave them to me.

An Odd Transaction

I’ve never been one to read (very thoroughly, at least) lengthy quotations in books. We talked about this during a course I took last year on writing biography—does anybody actually read lengthy passages of Samuel Johnson in the midst of his biography? The general consensus seemed to be… no, not really.

I take this a step further, though, because I even have a hard time reading comparable passages in fiction. As soon as I see the indented stanzas and italics, my eyes go into sixth gear, no matter how much I’m enjoying myself otherwise. Those songs the Sorting Hat sings in Harry Potter? Skimmed them. Of course such quotes and silly songs are still sometimes necessary, thanks to various style guidelines and general ease of reading. I do it in my own writing (see below), although I’m much more careful after an entire seminar class admitted to rarely reading quotes.

I picked up J.M. Coetzee’s Elizabeth Costello the other day; I enjoyed (does one enjoy Coetzee?) Disgrace and The Life and Times of Michael K, and I was certain that Advisor had recommended E.C. (he swears to me now that he did no such thing). I’m about halfway through: it appears that the book is made up almost entirely of a series of formal addresses. Now, these aren’t quite the same things as quotes, if only because they don’t raise a flag by appearing in italicized stanzas. And yet… I’m struggling. I fight the urge to skim. I skim anyways. I go back and reread. I skim again. And so it goes.

* * *

During one of these skim-and-reread exercises, however, I came across two little gems. The title character is at a dinner party being held in her honor, and she has just given a rambling keynote address (I tried not to skim it, but even the narrator called it rambling). Somewhere in the rambling were Elizabeth Costello’s scattered beliefs on animal cruelty and vegetarianism. One dinner guest says, “So vegetarianism is a very odd transaction, when you come to think of it, with the beneficiaries unaware that they are being benefited.” I suppose this is one way to think of it. Elizabeth Costello, however, thinks otherwise. I am not sure I am supposed to find this passage, or Coetzee, funny. But I’m a farmer’s granddaughter and a Texan and a vegetarian, and I have to say that it’s tempting to hang on to this one for the next time somebody says to me, “but it’s just chicken!”

‘You ask me why I refuse to eat flesh. I, for my part, am astonished that you can put in your mouth the corpse of a dead animal, astonished that you do not find it nasty to chew hacked flesh and swallow the juices of death wounds.’

“The juices of death wounds.” Damn.

* * *

current book: see above.

current music: I am totally incapable of banishing the ear worm that is “I Bet That You Look Good on the Dance Floor” by the Arctic Monkeys.

current socks: My Grumpy Bear socks. It was a Grumpy Bear kind of day.

The Tide is High, But I’m Holdin’ On

The first part of Barbara Kingsolver’s essay High Tide in Tucson is perfect. It’s the kind of essay you can read over and over again and discover some new truth each time. Somehow the story of Buster the crab, an accidental stowaway from a seaside vacation, becomes Kingsolver’s story, and our story. The gentle anthropomorphization of Buster is funny, and his disorientation is relatable:

The largest, knottiest whelk had begun to move around. First it extended one long red talon of a leg, tap-tap-tapping like a blind man’s cane. Then came half a dozen more red legs, plus a pair of eyes on stalks, and a purple claw that snapped open and shut in a way that could not mean We Come in Friendship.

Who could blame this creature? It had fallen asleep to the sound of the Caribbean tide and awakened on a coffee table in Tucson, Arizona, where the nearest standing water source of any real account was the municipal sewage-treatment plant.

Poor Buster! But who hasn’t awakened one morning hopelessly confused, whether because of traveling or moving or too much alcohol? But Buster makes do in his new home, where he is spoiled with a variety of shells and moldy cottage cheese. But Buster becomes manic-depressive when it’s high tide on his home shores—apparently, at least, because Kingsolver can’t come up with any other explanation, and it’s certainly an appealing one. Because who doesn’t try to hang on to the Caribbean tide they’ve just left?

* * *

The rest of Kingsolver’s essays are hit-or-miss. She’s a lovely writer with a gift for description, but sometimes her metaphors are forced or overwrought. She also has a tendency to wear her politics on her sleeve, sometimes with what I perceived as a smug superiority, and although I don’t necessarily disagree with her, this habit starts to grate while reading essay after essay. But what an interesting life she’s had, one that has surely contributed to her politics—from a small town in Kentucky to Africa to the Canary Islands to Tucson and probably lots of other places in between. She’s been a concert pianist and biologist and a member of the all-author Rock Bottom Remainders band (alongside Dave Barry and Stephen King). Her essays draw from these landscapes and the life lessons they imparted, sometimes beautifully, sometimes so thick with adjectives that you’re left choking. But read the title essay—that’s where the really good stuff is.

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current book: Nearly done with The Land of Laughs (thanks, Ryan!). It reminds me a bit of Paul Auster’s Book of Illusions in that both are very compelling reads, each about a man who is obsessed with an artist. In the case of The Land of Laughs, the artist is an author of fantastical kids’ books as well as some fantastic and horrifying realities…

 

current music: Rocked out to my totally gay running mix during yesterday’s run. I needed that Kylie Minogue during that last half-mile, I’m telling you.

 

current socks: Tomorrow I will be sporting my St. Patrick’s Day socks, those which only get worn once a year. If you haven’t seen them, you are really missing out: a garish scene laid out in bright green and metallic gold thread involving leprechauns, rainbows, and pots of gold. Really, how often is it that socks come with their own narrative?

Fifth Run

Seven. Fucking. Miles.

Thus begins daily ibuprofen-taking and knee-icing.

Fourth Run

The fourth run unhappily coincided with spring thaw. We ran five miles on a path comprising mud, ice, and goose shit. My running shoes no longer look new, that’s for sure! Except for the path being so slushy, it was really pleasant out. The sun was bright and it was nearly 40 degrees by the time we finished, which is at least 10 degrees warmer than it’s been any other weekend. I was actually hot. It worries me that I am now a person who can get hot in 40 degree weather. I didn’t used to be like this, you know.

I moved up two pace groups to the one running 5/1 at an 11 minute pace. It felt pretty good, although it was definitely more of a challenge, so I don’t know if I’ll stick with it or move to the 11:30 group. I’m pretty slow either way, so I’m not sure it matters much in the scheme of things.

And now, off to enjoy my Saturday! There’s some graffiti/art gallery thing going on in Pilsen that I might check out, if I can stay awake all afternoon. Early mornings really don’t agree with me.

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current book: Finished High Tide in Tucson; stay tuned for a mini-review. I’m reading The Atlantic Monthly right now, but up next is either J.M. Coetzee’s Elizabeth Costello or Jonathan Carroll’s The Land of Laughs.

current music: After watching the brilliantly stupid Zoolander last night, I put together a little running mix, which seemed to help out this morning. It’s mostly dance music—Madonna and Kylie Minogue and (gasp!) Justin Timberlake.

current socks: Still in my running socks, which are quite muddy (hopefully it’s just mud and not goose shit). They have the little SmartWool guy on them. I bet he’s chipper in the mornings, too.

Mutilation by Bumblebees

My mom and I were in a small art gallery the other day. Looking around, I saw a few woodblock prints hanging on the wall. Most of them were prints of insects with various shades of yellow behind the inky black. I loved them. I pointed one out to my mom that I especially liked—it was of a bumblebee. “A bee?” she asked. “Yeah,” I said. “I love bees. If I ever get a tattoo, it’ll be a bee.”

My mom got a funny look on her face and said something like, “I don’t think you need to mutilate your body any more than you already have.” Huh? I have exactly three piercings, all in my earlobes (presumably the most socially acceptable place to have holes poked through your body), and one of which I never even use anymore. No tattoos (yet). No piercings in tongues or eyebrows or belly buttons or strange places in my ear. So what the hell was she talking about?

We walked around the corner to a little salon, where we had pedicure appointments. I kept pressuring her to tell me what she meant by “mutilation.” Finally, she spilled. When my dad had helped me move in to my current apartment—a year and a half ago, mind you—he thought he saw a tattoo on my lower back when I bent over. (A friend who also helped me move in does have a tattoo in her lower back, so maybe my dad just needs his eyes checked.) He came home and told my mom, “Guess who has a tattoo?”

My mom refused to believe me until—right in the middle of the salon—I pulled down the top of my jeans to show her my bare, untattooed back. I finally convinced her, but I was unable to escape the ensuing lecture about how tattooing is the same as mutilating your body. Guess this is further evidence that when I do get a tattoo, I sure as hell need to keep it a secret from my parents.

* * *

current book: My running buddy loaned me her copy of The Nonrunner’s Marathon Guide for Women: Get off your butt and on with your training. The writer, Dawn Dais, is pretty funny—she actually writes a lot like dooce—but her brand of sarcasm wears thin a chapter or two into the book. And I wish she’d written it more of a story of her journey from recliner to race day, rather than a guide. Nevertheless, it’s of course always good to hear that you’re not the only person irritated by how freakin’ happy runners are at 7:30 on a Saturday morning.

current music: I need to charge my iPod.

current socks: Some very soft, fuzzy, purplish ones my mom gave me for Christmas a few years ago. Before she thought I had turned to a self-mutilating lifestyle.

Third Run

I can’t believe it’s only our third long run and we did six miles! I stuck with the 5/1 group (that’s 5 minutes running, 1 minute walking) and felt great, which means I am now officially a member of the second-slowest training group. Yay me!

The thing I forget about Mini training is how hungry it makes you. I inhaled a Luna bar and an 8-oz. box of chocolate soy milk for my post-run recovery snack, and then I went grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods. You know how they have samples set up in grocery stores? I literally planted myself in front of one at Whole Foods and ate from it. I’m surprised security didn’t show up. And then I came home and ate some more, and then ate some more.

And now I’m going to go make dinner.

* * *

current book: Nearing the end of High Tide in Tucson. Kingsolver wears her politics on her sleeve, which is starting to grate, even though I don’t necessarily disagree with her views. But still a lovely collection of essays.

current music: I’m going to a blues club in the ‘hood on Monday night! I’m pretty excited. And I am pretty sure I will be the only white girl for miles.

current socks: Some of my favorite stripeys with the word “Lucky” across the toes (which is a reference to the brand name and not a weird foot fetish or something).