Goodbye, Erl

Long before there was Emmit, there was Aunt Laura. My first nephew had unruly black hair, the deepest, most expressive eyes you could hope to gaze into, and poisonously bad breath. I don’t remember the precise moment I acquired my dog-nephew and became Aunt Laura for the first time. It was probably sometime after I moved across the street from jaq and Josh and became their default dog-sitter, but it could have happened earlier than that. Erl had a way of wiggling and wagging his helicopter butt into people’s hearts.

Erl was a few years younger than Reba, my childhood dog who died last fall, and he had all the youthfulness, the craziness, the silliness, that I missed from Reba’s puppyhood. Unlike Reba, who was stiff and slow for years before she died, it seemed like Erl would never grow old. Last summer, when jaq was too pregnant to walk Erl–Erl required vigorous walks, sniffing-everywhere-and-running-back-and-forth walks–I’d take him over to the soccer fields nearby. We’d chase each other back and forth and then Erl would throw himself on his back, writhing and wriggling in the grass, ecstatic to be alive! To be in the grass! To be with Aunt Laura!

jaq and Josh let Erl jump up on visitors when they entered the house. It put me off at first–after all, I’d spent hours trying to teach Reba not to jump, to be a civilized pet–but I came to love it. I came to love how happy Erl was whenever I walked through jaq and Josh’s door, how he’d wag his whole body, his tail going ’round and ’round in wide thumping circles. I even came to love the bruises he’d leave on my thighs from jumping up to say hellohellohellohello! They were little love-bruises, purple and blue paw-shaped reminders of how uncontrollably happy he was to see me.

Erl wasn’t sick for very long. I think I’m glad it happened so quickly–he was, as jaq says, a force of happiness and joy, and it wouldn’t have suited him to have that force masked by old age. I saw him last week when I was in Indianapolis. I started crying as soon as I saw how skinny he’d gotten in just a few weeks. I put Emmit in his crib upstairs and sat down on the floor with Erl to say goodbye. I buried my face in his and thanked him for being my dog-nephew, for snuggling on the sofa when jaq and I watched bad television, for letting me cry into his fur last fall when I lost my pets, for never losing hope that I might someday let him lick my face, for always being so happy to see me.

Erl couldn’t have been a more perfect companion for jaq and Josh and Emmit. He was silly and sweet and ridiculous and neurotic. And jaq’s right: if he hadn’t gotten sick, he and Emmit would have been best friends. He had room in his heart for everybody.

As lucky as I am to have been his Aunt Laura, there are limitations. I only knew him half as long as jaq and Josh did. I can only throw adjectives around; I can’t tell all the stories that do Erl justice or explain very well why he was jaq and Josh’s perfect companion. Read on: http://jaqnigg.googlepages.com.